Incoherent Lucidity (a poem)

Weekly Creative Writing Phrase:
The only disembodied voice I can stand is my own

Incoherent Lucidity

I often have nightmares.
I dream that I'm watching my life. As if it's a TV show.
Only it's different somehow.

I watch myself do something interesting or boring.
I don't even care to see what I'm doing.
But somehow I can't look away.
It's like I'm a car accident.
Only I'm just in a dream.
That's why it's a nightmare.
I can't look away.

Sometimes I hear a whisper.
It's not always someone I know.
It's not always in the form of a whisper.
I hate the anticipation of finding out.
I just want to wake up.

I don't understand what is going on.
I don't know why they are talking about me.
As if I am not even there.
As if they are in my line of view.
As if they even exist.

It is confusion that brings me to this point.
When all I want to do is sleep.
I wish to just wake up.
I want the voice to stop.
I try to find its source.
There is no one there but me.

When will there be a reprieve?
Will my consciousness attend this party?
I speak up and tell the others to go away.
The only disembodied voice I can stand is my own.
But even that sounds like a ghost to my dreaming ears.
I am afraid I can't wake up.
I am afraid.
I wish I understood.